Blog Post by: By Fatima.
I am super passionate about finding the right balance for me when it comes to my home life, work life & deen life. This does not mean that each one gets the same level of attention from me & nor does it mean that I have to feel guilty neglecting one to concentrate on another – it just means that each day I approach my day with the intention to give as much as I can to each of them by prioritising what I need to do on a daily basis.
The home-work-deen balance is not a one size fits all system … It is more like a “personal contentment system” where you approach your life by focusing on your wellbeing, your expectations of yourself & being able to properly manage your time inshaAllah.
WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS?
There is always a lot of discussion about how working mothers can find their work-life balance – how they can be successful business owners, employees or volunteers whilst also being amazing wives & mothers. However, as Muslimah’s we can add one more element to it & that is our Deen life, our Islamic character, not to complicate our lives further but because it is so vital to our well-being it needs a mention all on its own.
Sounds a bit overwhelming, right? Well, I’m here to tell you there is light at the end of the ‘stressful-I-have-so-much-to-do’ tunnel because I have been there too. However I have decided to OWN my circumstances, which began when I was asking myself questions like “what am I doing?”, “why can’t I get more done?”, “why am I not happy & content?” … & I have alhamdulillah managed to overcome the imbalance in the way I approached my life every day.
Today I want to help you to own it too – to begin to find your home-work-deen life balance, so you can feel more fulfilled & on top of it all inshaAllah. I will talk about three areas: your well-being, your expectations & your time – which is what helped me prevail over the stress & discontent I was feeling once upon a time.
GET DEDICATED TO YOUR WELLBEING INSHAALLAH
As the saying goes “you need to look after yourself first, to be able to look after others” – & this is so very true. However, how many of us actually do this? How many of us do dedicate time to our own well-being?
Essentially to give this dedication you need to be able to view yourself as the central focus in ensuring that for everything around you to function as you desire, you will need to place importance on yourself first. This is not a selfish attitude, though I do not blame you if you feel like that initially (I know I did), rather it is vital so that you can mentally balance the demands that come with your home, work & Islamic commitments.
When it comes to your well-being be specific, for example don’t just say “I am so stressed with work, I need a break” – find out or admit what it is at work that is stressing you & then make plans to address the situation, otherwise returning from a holiday to the same problem will not help your well-being.
Ask yourself: are you completing your daily prayers & making dua? Are you looking after yourself spiritually, mentally & physically? Do you have a hobby that you enjoy & haven’t done in a long time? Are you following a healthy diet or exercising? Do you need to revive your social life after having children?
Have a good, deep look within yourself & try to answer questions like those mentioned above. Find out what it is that will contribute to your own well-being & do not feel that you need to continue to live every day with your feelings disregarded & fulfilment not met. By addressing these inshaAllah it will create a positive domino-affect onto everything else in your life.