If you’ve ever experienced Ramadan as a first time mom, you know how hard it can be.
You spend much of the month trying to balance so many things all while trying to savor the beauty of Ramadan. This new season of motherhood is quite overwhelming. You find yourself comforting your young child during suhoor. Your sleep isn’t consistent or restful. Your meal planning isnâ€™t going as planned and youâ€™re just a mess. All of the plans and goals you set out to do are now far out of reach. There is nothing more spiritually disheartening for first time Muslim moms than feeling disappointment during Ramadan.
I do think there is a misconception among our communities that you have to achieve these big goals and have an endless list of daily spiritual â€œto-dosâ€, and to do the things that everyone else is doing during this month. The truth is, your plans donâ€™t have to emulate that of others and the goals you do set should be sustainable and something that you can carry on after this blessed month.
â€œThe most beloved of deeds to Allah are the most consistent of them even if they are few.â€ (Bukhari & Muslim)
Prophet Muhammad (S) reminds us in this hadith that consistency is far more important than going big and not continuing thereafter. How beautiful is this hadith? Just by looking at this hadith you immediately realize that our religion of Islam is understanding of our humanness and our capabilities throughout the different seasons of our life.
As a first time mom entering the month of Ramadan, know that this month is for you too. Even if you can’t achieve the big things you’re used to doing or plan to do, you can still set goals that are realistic and achievable while aiming to earn the pleasure of Allah. Donâ€™t forget that if you feel as though you had a great start to the month but you’re losing stamina as you hit the middle of the month, it’s okay to set new goals and start anew the next day.
Here are five tips for first time moms during the month of Ramadan:
Enjoy this blessed month
Remember that this month is a month to enjoy and to reconnect with our deen. Although youâ€™re a first time mom with so much to balance, you can still take comfort in knowing that even the smallest deeds and efforts are seen by Allah. Caring for your child and even yourself is a form of ibadah.
Set Simple goals
Instead of overwhelming yourself with a long list of daily goals to achieve, try to choose a few small goals you can do while youâ€™re taking care of your child or your home.
Dhikr and duaa are two that you can prioritize during this month, and you are able to do both easily while cooking, cleaning, breastfeeding, and even lying down. As a first time mom, there is so much you donâ€™t know and so much youâ€™re trying to figure out. Getting in the habit of remembering Allah and talking to Him is not only helpful for your spirituality, but a game changer for your mental health as well.
Do the good deeds that you can carry on after Ramadan
When you sit down to plan simple goals, focus on the ones you know youâ€™ll carry on after Ramadan. Some examples include: morning and evening adkhar, reading a page of Qurâ€™an each day, and praying Witr every night after the Ishaa prayer. Another beautiful one is to pray in front of your child. Show them the beauty of the salah. They will grow to enjoy watching you pray and respecting your time doing so.
Let go of the guilt
Itâ€™s easy to blame ourselves for not going above and beyond with our every endeavor, but you need to remember that becoming a first time mom takes getting used to. Itâ€™s a learning curve for us all. Learn how to be gentle with yourself and remind yourself that Islam is a religion of mercy and peace, and you cannot sustain a mindset where youâ€™re constantly punishing yourself.
Take notes for next year
I recommend keeping a physical or digital journal nearby during Ramadan and even afterwards. Write down your feelings, duaas, and notes about what worked for you and your family (and what didnâ€™t). Utilizing a journal is, in my opinion, a powerful tool for new moms and even the more seasoned ones.
I hope you find these tips helpful as you enter or continue throughout this blessed month of Ramadan. May Allah bless all mothers with peace, clarity, and guidance.
Khadiga is a former educator turned stay-at-home mom. She found a love for blogging and connecting with fellow mamas online when her daughter was 9 months old. She also works as a virtual assistant for entrepreneurs in the parenting and education spaces. Respectful parenting and personal growth are two of her passions, as well as books, coffee, and journaling.
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