Your brain is fogged and you simply want to be sprawled on your bed doing nothing, there is a dull and gloom that overpowers your mind.
A cycle that you have to go through every month, everything negative comes gushing through like an unprecedented wave of emotion, that you simply feel unbearable to control. And finally, you give in to the tears that had been weighing heavy over your chest all this while. With the flowing tears, you feel the burden on your chest lighten. Then again you are still not your usual self.
We women are a beautiful creation of Allahﷻ, and in His Divine Wisdom, He knows what we can and cannot bear. Our monthlies are just a part of the nature of our creation and if Allah has willed this for us, it’s something that’s good for us. We may not understand the nature of the ‘why’, but to trust fully that it’s not in vain and إن شاء الله we shall be rewarded for our patience.
As Allahﷻ says:
لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا
“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…”
Surah Al Baqarah: 286
Ramadan is a month that all of us want to benefit from the most, and as women, we often feel that we are missing out. Getting the period just when we have gained momentum in our fasting may seem like a huge roadblock and our eeman might take a dip.
The good news is it doesn’t have to be that way, when we enter into something with a preconceived idea planted in our head then that’s what we would be expecting would happen and that’s exactly what we sub-consciously look forward to. When we are already expecting the period to bring us down, that exactly how we would feel. It is as if we’ve pre-planned and are drowning in a full-blown pity party even before the real thing has come along.
The key is to take each day as it comes, and accept the reality that this moment is all we’ve got and also accept our Qadr moment by moment. The future is with Allah, and the forth coming period is also part of the future which remains with Allah in the unseen. Whenever it has to happen, it will happen, why lose this moment worrying about what’s to come.
So إن شاء الله, when you do miss a few days of Ramadan due to your period it’s absolutely fine, even if we miss the last ten days it’s still fine, because that too is in the Qadr of Allah. And سبحان الله, the way I see it we only miss two acts of worship, it may seem like we are missing out on a lot, but tell you what, it’s just our salah and our fasting, we still have our dhikr, for which we don’t even have to move from the couch, we can still recite from the Qur’an once we feel we are able to sit for it, and we can still-right from the couch- make an intention of sadaqah and put that into action when we feel we are ready to move إن شاء الله.
How about putting that phone addiction to good use- listening to beneficial eeman boosting lectures and the Qur’an right from our favorite place on the couch. Allah wants ease for us, and He knows what we are going through and He knows what we need at this time and He has indeed made it easy for us by exempting us from the physical actions of worship. And the ones we are able to do are the ones that are in fact the ones that help us out of our created misery. Why do I say ‘created misery’? Because our miserable condition is a fragment of our thought that we choose to give importance to, we think we are miserable and we feel miserable. We anticipate this state of misery, but it’s simply a thought that’s planted in our heads and we end up weaving fantastical stories around it. الحمد لله we do have the tools that grant us ease, we find this ease through the dhikr of Allah, through sadaqah, through listening to the Qur’an, listening to beneficial lectures etc.
“…..Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship and [wants] for you to complete the period and to glorify Allah for that [to] which He has guided you, and perhaps you will be grateful.”
Surah Al Baqarah: 185
So my beautiful sisters in Islam, make an intention to be a conscious Muslimah this Ramadan and take each day as it comes and make the most of this blessed month moment by moment إن شاء الله.
“Unquestionably, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.”
Surah Ar- Rād: 28
Umm Rayyan has graduated with bachelors in psychology from the University of Madras. She has also completed the fundamentals of Islam course from IRGC (Chennai) and is currently pursuing an Associate degree in Islamic Psychology from IOU and Diploma in CBT from the Centre of Excellence (UK). She considers herself an on going student of Islam.
A mother of two, she believes as a Muslim woman in improvising the different roles she is entrusted with and fulfilling the responsibility that comes with it to the best of her ability.
She is a passionate advocate of building a connection with Allahﷻ as the fundamental aspect of working towards building a connection with the self and those around.
With this foundational belief, her goal as a life coach, is to help her sister’s in deen overcome their tribulations to reach their potential.