It’s not just your name; a lot of things, if not everything, change when you get married. Sometimes even as much as your whole outlook on life, your idea about yourself, your priorities, your dreams, your goals, your career aspirations in addition to the change in relationships and circumstances and homes and lifestyles! Allah o Akbar.
And in the pursuits of settling in a new home, learning to live life with a new human being, even giving birth and nurturing more human beings, and all the mayhem marrying and the consequences of marrying bring, us women, somehow forget that once upon a time, we used to be our own idiosyncratic individuals ourselves. We used to don our own colors with pride and carried a soul wild with our passions and desires.
In raising families, many women often neglect the most important thing – taking care of themselves and pursing their own interests. Even if they had hobbies before, they think that now that they are married, they don’t have the time, the energy, the desire or even the need to have a hobby.
To many married women, hobbies appear to be a luxury they cannot afford.
But I have a different argument to make. Take a look at this dua:
In the above mentioned Quranic dua we are taught the adab (manner) of asking from Allah SWT. We are taught that dua is asked in stages:
- First – For your own self
- Secondly – For your children/spouse
- Then – For your parents/family/ friends/ extended family
- And lastly – For the whole muslim ummah.
It gave me an interesting insight; while everyone else is important too – we must start khair (goodness) from ourselves first.
So dear sisters, your home is important, your children are important, your career, your spouse, your parents & inlaws etc, they are all important. But in all these relationships, your relationship with your Maker and yourself is the most important of all.
When you spend time with yourself, specially doing things that interest you, e.g. pursuing a hobby, solely for your self and you spend time with your maker you start to be at peace with yourself. It improves your emotional and mental health a lot. Which will positively affect the tone of your home and your relation with your children.
Because remember, if you will honor yourself, people around you will naturally honor you – bi Izn illah (with Allah’s will).
Having concluded all of that I picked out the paints & sketch book that I bought months back in hope of trying water color on canvas, took a leap of faith (despite having used oil on canvas I was not sure if I could do justice to water colors!) and painted two small paintings and a small reminder using Crayola markers & water.
I loved how they turned out, I will for sure try more insha Allah. I hope it encourages you to come out of your comfort zone and try what you want to try too!