Self Doubt

It took me a very long time to decide what I wanted this post to be about. If I still wrote free-hand, there’d be a trash can filled with crumpled up pages at my feet. What I settled on in the end is a topic I’d be able to write about day and night for the rest of my life – self-doubt. Apt, right?

There’s a standard response to anyone’s admission of self-doubt. It goes something along the lines of ‘Don’t doubt yourself! Have confidence!’

Easier said than done. Self-doubt is a (horrible) part of life. It’s insidious and if getting rid of it was as easy as receiving a compliment by a well-meaning, wonderful friend or family member – I’d never have to deal with it again.

I have several strategies for attempting to get rid of self-doubt and I thought I’d share them with you today. If they benefit even one other person, I’ll be ecstatic. Now, keep in mind that what’s written below is not fool-proof. No strategy is flawless and none of them work perfectly for everyone all the time. If none of this helps you even a tiny bit, I am so sorry and I pray that In Shaa Allah you will find an effective coping strategy soon.

Firstly, accept that self-doubt is a thing that happens. I’ve often found that in the midst of doubting myself, I become aware of my own self-doubt and start berating myself for it which then leads to me feeling worse about myself which can turn into a downward spiral. I’ve gotten into the habit of trying to forgive myself for my doubts. I try (and sometimes fail) to be kind towards myself which, while it doesn’t remove my feelings of doubt, does mean that I don’t make myself feel worse about them.

Secondly, I try to behave as though one of my friends has come to me and is telling me about their own doubts. I love my friends and I am generally much kinder to them in times of need than I am to my own self. When I try to respond to my insecurities the way I would respond to a friend’s, I am kinder and softer.

Finally, I distract myself. I have always found a sense of peace from praying so generally I will try to distract myself using some form of prayer. On those occasions when I cannot calm myself by praying, I will try to lose myself in writing or baking, sometimes even cleaning. These are things that give me a sense of accomplishment because I do know how to handle them. Accomplishing some kind of task helps me to remember what I am capable of and helps me have faith in myself once again.

Once again, I hope that some of this has helped and if not, I hope you find something that does soon, In Shaa Allah.

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Neymat Raboobee

Neymat Raboobee is a South African author, editor, and cat lover. She writes about issues she's been witness to in the community she grew up and still resides in and is passionate about teaching through fiction and writing the stories that people don't like to talk about.

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